I suffer with depression. Sometimes I want to take my life because of the downward spiral that I find myself in. In this book, I explain the basis of my depression, and how I've manage to live through it. I write 'manage' because people suffering with depression don't actually 'live' a life. They survive, they grind and they 'hold on'. For those coping with depression, life is a constantly a struggle, and for some, it can be a losing struggle. This is the story of my life. It's about my experience of living with depression, but it's not a step-by-step guide on how to live with depression. In fact, I'm not sure you can "beat" depression or be cured from depression. This is a story of how one person living with depression gets through their days and long, long nights. The chapters are organized in chronological order through my school years, my first work experiences, and my arrival to and subsequent departure from university, at the age of 30. In the last two chapters, I write about my own experiences with suicide and my numerous sessions of talking with counsellors. The chapter on suicide was particularly hard to write. It took me back to a time where I never want to return too. The point of this chapter is to highlight and focus on what goes through the mind of a person who is contemplating killing themselves. I want the reader to know, to understand, that before reaching that fateful decision, a person suffering with depression has had a long, agonising journey and along the way, they fight and cling on to any last vestige of life. Millions of people around the world share the symptoms of depression. In the last chapter, I talk about a subject that rarely comes to the fore in the mindof someone suffering with depression - their hopes and aspirations.