精彩摘录

ForIam—orIwas—oneofthosepeoplewhopridethemselvesontheirwillpower,ontheirabilitytomakeadecisionandcarryitthrough.Thisvirtue,likemostvirtues,isambiguityitself.Peoplewhobelievethattheytheyarestrong-willedandthemastersoftheirdestinycanonlybelievethisbybecomingspecialistsinself-deception.Theirdecisionsarenotreallydecisionsatall—arealdecisionmakesonehumble,oneknowsthatitisatthemercyofmorethingsthancanbenamed—butelaboratesystemsofevasion,ofillusion,designedtomakethemselvesandtheworldappeartobewhattheyandtheworldarenot.Thisiscertainlywhatmydecision,madesolongagoinJoey'sbed,cameto.Ihaddecidedtoallownoroomintheuniverseforsomethingwhichshamedandfrightenedme...

——引自第18页

IhavethoughtaboutJacques'questionsince.Thequestionisbanalbutoneoftherealtroubleswithlivingisthatlivingissobanal.Everyone,afterall,goesthesamedarkroad—andtheroadhadatrickofbeingmostdark,mosttreacherous,whenitseemsmostbright—andit'struethatnobodystaysinthegardenofEden.Jacques'gardenwasnotthesameasGiovanni's,ofcourse...PerhapseverybodyhasagardenofEden,Idon'tknow;buttheyhavescarcelyseentheirgardenbeforetheyseetheflamingsword.Then,perhaps,lifeonlyoffersthechoiceofrememberingthegardenorforgettingit.Either,or:ittakesstrengthtoremember,ittakesanotherkindofstrengthtoforget,ittakesaherotodoboth.Peoplewhoremembercourtmadnessthroughpain,thepainoftheperpetually...

——引自第22页